Ups and downs of live

Ten days ago i left alone when my honey went to Japan on a business trip. On the previous day i was really down and sad about not seeing him for a long time. I wasn't sure whether i could make it and just be in touch via chat and webcameras. I'm not a person who lives in a long distance relationship, i need to feel closeness, see my honey live, touch him. To get a feeling that there is always somebody to lean on when i feel upset and somebody to share my happy moments with.

There ain't anything to do, but just face the truth he had to go. Still at the moment of goodbyes i had a bit "left alone" -feeling, but i gathered myself and was ready to enjoy these days by myself and with friends. That day i went out and celebrated a birthday of my friend. In the end i was hanging out just with her and her boyfriend... what i didn't find the best option at that moment. I went home already in the early hours and gave a call to my honey to make sure he is save and sound in Japan.

The following few days passed by surprising quickly. It's still true that the old and simple way to cope with miserable moments is to do some sport... and i did. I'm really proud of my trainings that i did: the distances i run, the workouts i did in gym. But less proud of that i did it everyday, without any days off.

I met loads of friends, enjoyed the freetime going out, staying overnight with them, cooking and shopping. Anything that we don't do often now that we are living in the relationships. Somehow the time is not enough to maintain relationship with boyfriend and samewhile do all the things that friends do together.

Until sunday everything was alright, althougt i didn't have a chance to chat with my honey that often. It's because of the time difference and because internet didn't work at home. Sunday evening one guy came and checked ot the internet problem since i couldn't do anything more about it. He blaimed me about what i did (althought i did everything properly according to manual). He just either wanted to make me feel myself stupid or wanted to say that women cannot handle with computers. Anyways... i felt really pissed off with him and the way he behaved.

On the following day i just had a feeling i didn't do anything correct. In the office i didn't get any good feedback, so on monday i gave up and left office earlier that allowed. Again the sport and talking with Ryo that evening cheered me up. Well, getting back to a normal mood i needed a bag of chocolate candies... but those i don't count on the bad days. It's allowed, if it makes me feel better. ;)

After next working day i went straight to gym with my friend, enjoyed tough training and stayed overnight at friend's place. Getting back home after work today i had a feeling i haven't been home for a long time. Even though it was only one and half days ago... maybe i'm losing a sense of time.

Happy thing today was that i could finally see my honey -via internet, but better than nothing- and talk with him long. There are just some little things that make me feel down, but also little things that cheers me up. Talking with darling and hearing some positive things from him makes me feel good again. So good that i didn't need to go out and do sport to cope with misery. But running long distance in a good mood was really enjoyable -for a long time. ;)